cookiesnporn

losing hope is easy when your only friend is gone n when you look around it all just seems to change

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 03:09:38 GMT

hey ...

so talk about a month and 1/2 of ups and downs ..

went to georgia and had the BEST time ever .. got some get stuff hung out with jesseca and just had an altogether great time ..
come home and hang out here .. then jess and her mom and tom leaves and tom died .. dont think i could have ever been ready for that one .. its weird he was such a great guy and even though i seen him 2 weeks a year i still loved him you know? .. im gonna miss our jokes the most ..

so last couple weeks been kinda down but im getting better .. so thats good ..
slept over colls the other day and had tons of fun specailly when she got high off fresh air .. (that just shows you need to get out more) .. then came home seen war of the worlds again (great movie) lol .. and just hung out .. tomorrow me and coll are gonna go see charile and the chocolate factory .. then sat im going up the mts and going white water rafting with jenny .. fun stuff .. wehn i get home me alicia and nicole are gonna go look for some hot guys .. then me and kim are supposed to hang out and if tinA ever gets off from work me and her are gonna do something

also im prob gonna go back to georgia in ausust to help jess cope with toms death .. its gonna be bad but i wanna be there for her .. so if i can talk bri in to taking me ill be back in ga for a week or soo ...

and also i need to do my summer reading but its gay .. i dont wanna .. cant i just say i have senioritious now? and not have to do it? .. prob not ..

and again also .. if jess moves back to philly (which might happen..) ill be going to bensalem with her .. mabye make my senior year a good one (and i know i say this every year but this year if they do come back .. i really will leave even if its in the middle of the year lol)

<3 monica

i have no books no time no friends i must therefore be contented to live and die an ignorant fellow

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 03:01:49 GMT

hey ...
so after a week up downs and ups .. im back to my happy self .. this week life started out really bad but got soo much better .. and now im soo happy ....

but anyways .. this week is gonna be great .. hopefully kim will be able to hang out before wed .. then wed im gone .. wont be back for almost 2 weeks ..im soo excited .. gerogia is gonna be soo much fun ..

i think i want to get a job at acme .. the guys there are SUPER hot!! ...

<3 monica

now ive had the time of my life and i owe it all to you...<3

Tue, 31 May 2005 23:00:25 GMT

hey!

life is soo great ... i dont think ive ever been this happy .. if i would have known that i would have been this happy i would have broken it off with him like last year .. you know what i actually stopped having feelings for him and he started to annoy me daily .. lol

but yea this weekend was soo fun .. i think i had a smile on my face the whole time .. i love my friends and family they made this weekend ...

so theres is officially 7 days left of hell(for me atlesst) i cant wait .. i hate school its soo annoying .. and i cant wait for this summer .. im going to georgia at the end of june .. YAY i cant wait to see jesseca i miss her oh so bad .. i should porb get a job this summer but im kinda lazy so i might just not and enjoy my last free summer

all i know is that this summer will be filled with great friends hot guys tons of inside jokes and a constant smile on my face .. (so much better than last summer!!)

well have a great day
<3 monica

this is where you and ME means nothing more than a crossed out heart carved into a tree in MY backya

Tue, 24 May 2005 01:24:30 GMT

hey! ... so life is great!! i swear i dont think ive ever been this happy ..

i started to talk to all my old friedns whom over the years i kinda ingored for the guy ... but its been great everyone is soo nice i forgot what its like to have good friends

ive also started to go out and i refuse to stay in my room any longer .. i wanna meet people .. but most of all i wanna live my life .. and im doing such a good job lol .. its just been great

the smile on my face seems almost permanent .. and its liek no matter how much shit he talks it kinda doesnt even faze me any more ..

this summer is gonna be great .. im making plans with EVERYONE .. and i plan on haveing mad fun lol ..

ok im gonna go .. have a great day love yas MOnica

heres some tips

Wed, 11 May 2005 00:01:37 GMT

well kids .. heres some tips on how to be an asshole:

1. tell your gf that you feel liek the stuff you are doing is getting old
2. call her and say a total of 3 words
3. ingore her at lunch only talking to her to ask if she loves or .. or to tickle her
4. ingore her all day ... even through she trying to make you laugh/smile or something
5. make her cry at lunch and not even acknoledge it even when you see it
6. take her back to your house and say nothing
7. break up with her ONLINE!
8. tell your not happy anymore with her
9. TELL HER YOU STILL WANNA BE FREIDNS!

so those are the 9 tips on how to be an asshole, hoped they help

ps. i hope to god no one treats anyone the way he treated me ....

Tue, 10 May 2005 20:18:27 GMT

my tear stained cheecks are unnoticed ..
like the pieces of my broken heart on the floor

i feel like im facing everything by myself with nothing but tears and fake smiles

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 15:12:28 GMT

hey ..
life pretty much still sucks .. this week has just been .. well bad

monday had off .. pretty much did nothing .. tuesday back to school .. wed school than NFG concert which was great .. reggie and the full effect was soo funny .. it was a good concert

thrus felt ill and pissed becuase my mom was yelling at me for no reaason .. then game which we won ..firday was soo ill in web design i couldnt get up becuase i was soo dizzy .. took ms segals test bearlly able to read because i was soo dizzy .. than deciced that i still should go to the game ebcuase alot of people were absent .. so i went took an hour to get there and all i did was sit on the bench .. so yea ive decided to quit the team because thats bullshit ..

than another thing wrong is i think neil is mad at me .. which he prob should be becuase ive been treating him like crap becuase in the past two days ive had a combined 9 hours of sleep .. and i feel like crap .. i feel bad becuase i was taking it out on him .. but i really didnt mean .. and i know i do it all the time .. but i love him more than anything .. and i know theres times i dont always show it .. but i do .. and i guess if your reading this neil im sorry ...

anyway ..

today i plan on sleeping .. i hope i can actually call neil and have him call back tonight so was can talk and maybe hang out tomorrow or something but i dont know .. other than that my weekened is gonna suck as always

next week we have to take the stupid pssa .. which i still think that we should be able to go home after .. or at least not have to do anywork .. but no our school is crap .. so yea

ok im off love ya lots bye

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 03:23:03 GMT

i think i wanna kill myself ....it would take away the pain of living ..

sometimes it feels like its not worth it
and i try and try but nothing turns out the way its supposed to
sometimes i wanna live in the movies
where the guys are perfect
and in the end its always turns out all right

"cry"

a life time apart and i dont know why
so many times i just wanted to die
id sit in my room knife in hand
hoping some day
id be in happy land

anger and hate
brought on me all at once
so many things happened
in the last few months
i try to hold back all my fears
but all im left with is tears
i try to hold back my anger
but i cant handle it
all my anger comes out
and i get in a big fit

i feel this pain inside
pain from which i can not hide
i wake up everyday with it
its like i keep getting hit
i run and try to hide
but the pain that comes from within
knows my stride

it follows me everywhere
and sometimes its too much to bare
i cant take anymore of this torture or pain
i feel like nothing i can accomplish or gain

the pain it grows everyday
filling my heart with hate and fears
as my eyes start to swell with tears

so i sit in my room
and watch my life go by
with my head in my hands
as i begin to cry

this wont mean a thing come tomorrow and thast exactly how ill make it seem

Sun, 20 Mar 2005 00:32:00 GMT

i just wanna wake up...

ps my life sucks

ive got a heart full of rubber bands that keep qetting caught on feelings

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 22:02:42 GMT

so yea sorry its been awhile .. nothing much here

i just got back from soccer practice mr c is working us really hard .. but its good i guess ..

yea my life has offically hit an all time low .. like really i ahte just everyone and everything .. (cept for a few things) thats why i like practice because running helps me get rid of my anger in a way

my classes totally blow ass .. web degisn is getitng annoying .. i wanna shot ms worrell and ms press .. ms segals class is the only good class .. grad project i dont think ive done work in since like 3 weeks ago .. and imp is getting stupid .. god i cant wait til its over .. ive decided not to take the honors class next year becayse im not putting up with ms worrell shit any more shes such a bitch and i hate her

yea .. so last week was my un-birthday .. the party was really good .. but all last week sucked .. i got a detention for cheating on a vocab test .. fun stuff .. and all this other stuff went wrong ..

on friday i went to practice and neil came .. we went to the movies after and saw the pacifer .. it was cute i liked it .. then we came home and played sega .. was the best night of all last week ..

today i have to go to the mall and get something .. plus send my hot topic gift card (ick) .. then gonna come home .. neil will hopefully call .. and then watch wrestling .. then im gonna pass out and hopefully wont wake up ..

GOD I HATE SCHOOL RIGHT NOW!

and im gonna leave it at that .. love yas bye

Happy Valentines day!

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 00:07:59 GMT

So happy .. its sunday .. and i ahd a pretty good weekend

neil came over yeasterday and we hung out then went to the movies .. we saw the new winnie the pooh movie .. it was cute .. i gave him his 50 bizillion gifts and i think he liekd them .. i liekd the pillow the best throu lol .. then he agve me a hickey on the CENTER of my neck and its soo hard to hide .. thanks neil lol

today i didnt do anything but sleep, redo my intro for grad and corrently doing my drivers ed project .. so if you wanna help and PLEASE HELP .. fill this out thanks:

name:
Age:
Sex:
Type of Car:
expience: yes or no
if yes .. how long:
do you think for a driver its better to have skills or atttitude? and why?:

thank you guys loves yas bye

its all i want to hold on to

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 21:49:36 GMT

hey .. so its been awhile .. i guess becuase theres nothing to really talk about ..

started new classes like last week .. i ahve web deisgn with amanda m .. honors (still blows) .. lunch .. grad project with neil and imp3 with jess kane.. the only class i dont like is grad becuase its soo boring .. but i like spending the time with neil sooo.. imp is great i love it becuase of jess kane .. its great lol

this weekend was jam packed lol .. mostly with neil .. he came over friday and he had tums and lets just say the die effects were odd .. then we saw the boogyman .. and i was just confused by it lol .. then he bought me an icee (thanks my love) adn we went home and i made pizza rolls .. sta i began to write my intro for my paper .. and talked to neil(it was his birthday!!!) so yea .. then at like 6 they picked me up and we went to red lobster .. it was fun i love eve i havent seen her in forever .. eveyone was making fun of him becuase hes not an eagals fan and whatnot .. then they dropped me off and me bri bill and pedro went bowling til 3 ..

sunday neil came over woke me up (but it was ok) and we hung out .. we watched white castle and stuff .. we watched the game but it was soo broing in the 1st half that we kinda lost interest .. so we played darts .. til he threw one at the tv and broke the dart (total bad aim) lol .. yea .. then he slpet over ..

today we went to school and had to wait for his madre becuase he forget his school shoes .. then yea .. today wasnt too bad i had some fun ..but yea ..

tomorrow me and kimberly are gonna go see the wedding date .. then i gotta go to them driving classes .. fun stuff .. then wed ive got bowling .. thrus who knows .. friday neil said he wanted to go and see the new winnie the pooh movie .. so yea .. and no clue whats up for the weekend .. prob sleep all weekend lol well i think thats it love yas lots .. talk to yas lata bye

i drew a picture of us and filled it with color but every time i checked it was black and white

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 00:52:23 GMT

blah blah blah .. its been pretty boring .. nothing really has been happening

we took finals tues and today .. yesterdays were kinda easy .. i got an 86 on ms a's .. and ms worrell .. well ... lets just say i got so angry i wrote her a note .. that im prob gonna get in trouble for (if she reads it, she usually doesnt read our stuff) but yea

today i took spanish which wasnt easy but wasnt hard and i think i did good .. and chem where i cheated on the whole test .. HAHAHAHA

im soo happy we get new classes on friday NO MORE MR MAC!!! .. althrough im quite pissed because i have to put up with ms worrells shit til the end of the year.. becuase i can only drop the class if 1. i can take the class next semester (which would mean .. be in class with her for an hour 1/2 rather then the 40 mins i have now) or 2. take it over the summer .. which i ahve to pay for and my mom wont and im broke .. so im stuck in that craphole of a class til june

so lets see the rest of this week should be easy .. tomorrow old classes .. so doing nothing .. friday new classes .. hopefully i get some good classes with people like morris, jen shaw,kim,the amandas, jen w, neil (i guess lol),ashley d, and others .. but yea .. then friday prob gonna come home and sleep/work on my dbq for ms segal .. then sat es my madres birthday, so neils coming over and i think we are going to some toko place (dont ask) yea .. sunday is free for whatever then back to hell on monday ...

1 month and 2 days til my unbirthday!!! i cant wait..

ps im going bowling with your mom tonight and im soo gonna bowl a strike wish me luck

please dont worry too much...it only hurts when i breathe

Sun, 16 Jan 2005 14:49:32 GMT

im sorry im still a horrible person

… but if im so horrible why are still grasping to be with me?

your sun may rise a thousand times but will you be my starless sky?

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 19:36:57 GMT

hey .. so yea back in hell .. it sucks .. we got our poems back and she didnt even read them .. im upset by that becuase i really wanted her to read mine .. but aw well

so yea i got my ball on monday.. and its soo cool! hahahaha it says "ur mom"!!! how great is that? then tues nothing really .. wed went bowling with ur mom .. lol .. thrus i went to neils and hung out then came home .. friday was soo great .. me and alicia sat in computer apps and talked about zombies ate my neighbors .. so then in english i talked neil into buying me sega and that game for my birthday .. (hopefully he came get a sega) .. then we watched some stupid movie in english .. then in esponal i showed ms lutterbie my pic of neil and she liked it alot .. she was laughing alot lol .. then chem blows i hate that class soo much

so yea finals are coming up THANK GOD .. that means i get rid of mr mac and ms worrell and get somewhat better teachers .. yea so im pretty excited about that ..

today me and neil are gonna go see white noise .. i hope its good better be better then darkness that movie was soo pointless .. sunday me and mom are going shopping for some books and other stuff becuase neils birthday is coming up .. then monday back to hell .. so yea my weekend should be pretty fun .. i hope .. yea but thats all i really had to say ... so ill talk to yas lata love ya lots byez

for the life of me i cannot remember what made us think that we were wise and wed never compromise

Tue, 28 Dec 2004 03:18:54 GMT

hey
so happy belated christmas .. i hope everyone got what they wanted.. my christmas was quiet fun

thrus i didnt go to school .. but i made cookies lol .. friday was christmas eve and neil came over and bri gave him his jersey(so gay) lol then neil banged my head into my bed (wow that sounds wrong but not in the way your thinking your soo dirty) .. so yea i had a head ache the whole night .. so we went to gmoms .. it was kinda boring but fun .. i gave a homie and me jen neil and rob hung out .. jen and colleen looked real cute i loved colls dress .. we tried watching some stupid movie but were interupted by the loud drunk adults in the kitchen (cough cough my mom cough cough lol) so yea .. then my 2nd cousin from ca came and gave us these pins that say "these colors dont run the world" lol i think their funny lol .. then he commented on my shirt that "smile it confuses people" lol he was like yea you can always tell when an old person was happy becuase their face is like permernaly in smiling postion .. lol i was dying those ca guys are weird

so then we came home at like 11 .. mom and dad opened their gifts and then me and bri drove bill home and listened to nsync christmas music lol .. then came home and sletp for about 4 hours got woke up at 5:30 to open presets (dad works on christams)so yea i got a new cd player (finally) a bowling ball A CABBAGE PATCH baby (score) and alot of other stuff .. including a white chicks dvd which wasnt in there .. yea i got the case and there was so no movie in there what the fuck? yea but its all cool i guess

then mom made breakfast and i went back to sleep fun stuff .. then later me bri bill mike whore 1 and 2 went ice skating and i soo didnt fall once!! then we dropped off the whores and went bowling and i finally broke 100 .. sweetness lol .. so yea that was my christmas it was fun

sunday i slept late .. but yea its winter break im allowed .. but basically i spent my day reading one of my books grandpa gave me .. i read all 200 pages in one day! its crazy .. then we went to the radziaks .. and had ham it was soo good .. then we watched benny and joon (soo love that movie) and opened gifts then came home .. bri and bill played playstation til like 3 so i stayed up and watched .. then we went to drive bill home and it was snowing really hard .. so we drove him home but couldnt get up the morrell hill got stuck like 3 times lol it was crazy .. then we came home .. and i swear we turned off all the lights and when we got home the kitcen light was on it was soooooo weird .. i think my house is haunted .. so yea

today was pretty much a boring day .. i didnt really do anything .. i watched shrek 2 and pierced my eye but thats about it ..tomorrow im making cookies and gotta get my ball drilled .. then wed neils coming over and were gonna go see a movie then bowl with bri .. thrus got nothing planned .. friday nothing sat neils coming for new years .. then sunday we are gonna go to the movies again ..fun stuff ..

then monday back to hell .. well atleast im dropping english and theres no more chem and only have like 18 more days left of them SWEET lol .. i cant wait im gonna be soo happy .. so yea anyways im gonna get going watch the rest of the game ill talk to ya lata loves yas bye

happy belated, christmas and happy new year

ill hide behind a smile and understanding eyes

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 04:33:13 GMT

so hey its been a while .. lifes been really boring and pissing me off lately.. so much so that i have to wear longsleves shirts all the time .. but were not going to get into that

so yea friday was alicias party .. and guess what i did? oh yea i was the girl who sat in the corner all by herslef ALL fucking night .. i swear theres is something wrong with me .. so yea friday sucked ..

PS i know what is wrong with me .. i have social anxiety .. it explains everything .. why i cant go out with my friends without puking .. why i cant go to a party without puking .. and then sit by myself the whole night .. and why i cant speak in public.. i think i need meds..

anyway school blows .. i cant wait til jan .. i get rid of ms worrell (FUCK YEA i hate that bitch) and mr mac .. but until then i have to deal with going to english and leaving feeling like im an idiot .. which then leads to a whole lot of other things (not getting into again) .. then go to chem and still ahve no idea whats going .. i hate this semester soo much .. i hope next is better .. or i am seriously thinking about leaving .. junior year or not

so yea today i went to neils aunts house in new hope .. it was super fun .. i think i spent more time with his sister and cousins jackie and adam .. jackie is really cool .. but yea i had fun .. and i got some stuff for the "jewish" holiday ..

lets see tomorrow is going to suck my ass .. and my mom better be able to pick me up because i really think if i have to listen to rap and those little assholes try to sing it for another 2 hours i really will strangle them .. no lie .. then tues will prob blow .. wed=blowing (always fun) ..thrus crap prob .. then friday finale degrassi episode cant wait looks real good .. plus neil might come over and we might see a series of unfortunate events ..

then sat we go to get our Christmas tree ..(this fukcin late it blows) .. and my mom wont put it up til like that next wed (the 21 i think) .. and then takes it down 2 days after Christmas .. so i dont understand why we put on up .. it sucks the Christmas tree is the best part .. and its only gonna be up for 5 days! what the fuck?

ok im leaving you but i think ill leave my "ode poem" for English because its just soo mean and i LOVE it .. and cant wait for her to read it :

Ode to the End of Hell
(Ode)

We leave computer apps.
Smiling faces and joyful moods
Enter the English rank
And become annoyed and irate

Sit in our desks
Learning words we don’t know
Are made to think of sentences
On the spot
As the question of stupidity of oneself
Rises in our minds

Still don’t really learn
Never really knew English before
And now having it
Thrown down our throats
By a smug professor
Who thinks we should know all

But if she only knew
That the teachers previous to
Weren’t that superior
And we passed by resting

Still come everyday
And have no idea
What’s going on
And how to pass
Ode to the day this hell is over
Ode to January 28
My new favorite day

ill hide behind a smile and understanding eyes

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 04:22:22 GMT

so hey its been a while .. lifes been really boring and pissing me off latly.. so much so that i have to wear longsleves shirts all the time .. but were not going to get into that

so yea friday was alicias party .. and guess what i did? oh yea i was the girl who sat in the corner all by herslef ALL fucking night .. i swear theres is something wrong with me .. so yea friday sucked ..

PS i know what is wrong with me .. i ahve social anixtiy .. it explains everything .. why i cant go out with my friends without puking .. why i cant go to a party without puking .. and then sit by myslef the whole night .. and why i cant speak in public.. i think i need meds..

anyway school blows .. i cant wait til jan .. i get rid of ms worrell (FUCK YEA i hate that bitch) and mr mac .. but until then i have to deal with going to english and leaving feeling like im an idiot .. which then leads to a whole lot of other things (not getting into again) .. then go to chem and still ahve no idea whats going .. i hate this semester soo much .. i hope next is better .. or i am seriously thinking about leaving .. joniuor year or not

so yea today i went to neils aunts house in new hope .. it was super fun .. i think i spent more time with his sister and cousins jackie and adam .. jackie is really cool .. but yea i had fun .. and i got some stuff for the "jewish" holiday ..

lets see tomorrow is going to suck my ass .. and my mom better be able to pick me up becuase i really think if i have to listen to rap and those little assholes try to sing it for another 2 hours i really will strangle them .. no lie .. then tues will prob blow .. wed=blowing (always fun) ..thrus crap prob .. then friday finale degrassi episode cant wait looks real good .. plus neil might come over and we might see a series of unforunate events ..

then sat we go to get our christmas tree ..(this fukcin late it blows) .. and my mom wont put it up til like that next wed (the 21 i think) .. and then takes it down 2 days after christmas .. so i dont understand why we put on up .. it sucks the christmas tree is the best part .. and its only gonna be up for 5 days! what the fuck?

ok im leaving you but i think ill leave my "ode poem" for enlish because its just soo mean and i LOVE it .. and cant wait for her to read it :

Ode to the End of Hell
(Ode)

We leave computer apps.
Smiling faces and joyful moods
Enter the English rank
And become annoyed and irate

Sit in our desks
Learning words we don’t know
Are made to think of sentences
On the spot
As the question of stupidity of oneself
Rises in our minds

Still don’t really learn
Never really knew English before
And now having it
Thrown down our throats
By a smug professor
Who thinks we should know all

But if she only knew
That the teachers previous to
Weren’t that superior
And we passed by resting

Still come everyday
And have no idea
What’s going on
And how to pass
Ode to the day this hell is over
Ode to January 28
My new favorite day

i feel like im facing everything by myself with nothing but tears and fake smiles

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 03:16:28 GMT

i feel pain inside
pain from which i cannot hide
i wake up everyday with it
its like i keep getting hit
i run and try to hide
but the pain that comes from within knows my stride
it follows me everywhere
and sometimes its too much to bare
i cant take anymore of this torture or pain
i feel like theres nothing i can accomplish or gain
the pain it grows everyday
filling my heart with hate and fear
as my eyes start to swell with tears
i sit in my room .. following my gut
knowing that every cut
is just another way of saying
i let the pain win

Sat, 20 Nov 2004 20:14:50 GMT

im a horrible person ..

ive waited for this moment all my life and more and now i see so cearly what i could not see before

Mon, 15 Nov 2004 20:22:42 GMT

so hey .. its been a while .. prob becuase the lack of things to undate about...

so yea ive been going bowling with bri and his friends every wed .. and that stupid whore(denise) always comes .. even throu NO ONE invites her.. so on wed she brings 3 of her friends and doesnt even bowl with them what the fuck? how are you going to bring people and not bowl with them? idiot .. then i was soo grossed out by that fact that she is soo fat and she was wearing a tank top that about 3 times too small .. ick i wanted to stick hot irons into my eyes just to burn the image out..

thrus was our last soccer game .. thank god i hated those girls .. and im soo glad the season is over .. also we had off on thrus .. so i made cookies ..

friday back to school .. hardly no one was there but i was happy because alicia and amanda were there soo it was fun .. til chem when the dick was like oh yea your gonna make up a song about chem and you have to sing it in front of the class.. HAHAHAHAHAHA thats real funny considering the fact that when i have to SPEAK in front of the class .. i cant eat without throwing up 2 days before and oh yea the fact that i shake for about 3 days before .. and during and about 2 days after.. i cant imange whats going to happen the week before i have to sing .. fucking dick (oh and ps its not gonna happen im not singing)

the weekend blew .. but it always does .. i swear my life consists of my sleeping eating and showering .. i dont do anything .. and its because of my anti socail/scaredness .. and oh and the fact that i live about an hour from all my friends .. so they all kinda forget about me .. but its ok im kinda used to it .. but anyways .. bri took me to new hope to but something for jess .. then we went to target and the mall to get shoes and a hat for him .. then home where i spent my saturday night watching .. a bugs life .. nightmare before christmas .. and robin hood (the chartoon).. fun .. then yeserday NO GAME YES! lol .. so i slept in .. then went to kholes for an outfor for thanksgiving ..(i hate that hoilday) .. then home and slept again .. go figure

today i didnt go to school becuase it was a half a day .. and my mom couldnt pick me up .. so if i went i would have had to wait til 12 when i get out at 11 .. then sit on the bus with those little fucks for half an hour .. so yea i stayed home..

umm .. tomorrows a half a day .. but i going because alicia asked me to go see saw(again GREAT MOVIE) with her and amanda.. then ill prob come home and sleep .. wed bowling again .. but i might not go due to the whore .. im unsure .. thrsu is a full day .. friday too .. then the weekend=more sleeping and not leaving my house for 2 days .. then the next week is thanksgiving .. and we are having it here (fuck) .. so that means that whore is going to come into my room and sit on my bed and mess with my crap .. then i have to be forced to eat the most gross food ever .. i think im the only person who hated turkey ..

so yea .. this month blows .. i cnat wait til december .. ps sunny 104 has christmas music already!!! SWEET

gonna clean the house gonna fix that fence in my final hours im gonna tie up these loose ends

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 23:03:10 GMT

Beyond the picket fences and the oil wells
The happy endings and the fairy tales
Is the reality of shattered lives and broken dreams

wow .. i never actually thought that country could say such greta things lol .. sorry thats from sitting in a car for 2 hours with my mother

so yea i went down the shore this weekend with jenny and others .. it was ok me and jen had our funny moments..

on friday everyone went on the trip so i was kinda alone all day well i had amanda neil and diane in all my class cept for spanish(where i had noone) then mommy picked me up in the middle of beatuy and the beast .. then i came home and pakced .. then off to the shore

we got there and waited til jen got there .. we watched some movies and stuff .. then sat we went the the zoo! AH it was the coolest .. the zoo is fucking cool i got a foam shark (liek the pet lizards the ones you walk) and named him HOGAWASH! lol then me and jen named all the goats and fed them .. my fave was shank with the eye gop.. he was cute .. then we drove around the shore for some reason and came back and watched drop dead fred .. then we walked the playground and played on the tire sing

then home and pumpkin carving .. mines was a frankstein! then i had a little one that we didnt cut but we drew on him ..a nd gave him clean(not dirty) dreadlocks and old grey hari his name was Icobod! lol then yesterday just laid around and watched th game .. i was so excited becuase they were sooo close to losing .. i swear im the only person in phila who hates the eagles lol

so everyone left and we stayed anotehr day for waht reason? im not sure but i wanted to come home so bad .. so eya then today we came home at like 10 .. i 1st had to see my kitten because i missed her sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad .. then unpacked and started my hw .. taht stupid chem project pissed me off i hate that guy .. i didnt know that in 11th grade i needed to do a project to learn how to glue and paste becuase you now thats why he made us sit there and cut out tiny circles and glue them onto a bigger circle..

yea so today was an ok day .. i dont wanna go back to school tomorrow i really dont liek it there .. but whatever .. tomorrow is prob just gonna be a reg day .. wed i have a game so no bowling (which is good becuase i dont have to see that stupid whore denise) then thrus i have anotehr game against the same team! .. then friday hopefully( as long as neil still wants to) me and neil are gonna go see the grudge.. then sat i have to work on my science fair paper .. then sunday another game plus more science fair crap .. and thats about all i know .. so yea

so i think thats all i wanted to say .. so thanks for reading love yas bye

i hope time doesnt change you and i pray that it fixes me..

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 00:02:35 GMT

hey .. so its been a while .. sorry about my last couple depressing entries .. i really think im bipolar .. but anyways .. life is getting a little better still sucks horribly but whatever

so yea this week has been kinda hectic .. on monday we had a game and lost(who could have guessed)tues .. i dont even remeber .. wed or thrus either.. fri i had 3 tests ... it was bad.. then i came home and did my english paper .. history hw .. and spanish extra credit .. also went out to eat with mis pardes due to their anniversty or something ..

then sat i pretty much spelt .. but at 6 went with bri and bill to arbys (GREAT FUCKING PLACE lol) then went to dicks to get bri a hockey stick .. then we picked up alicia and rich and somehow fit the 5 of us in bris small car .. it was pretty cramped mostly becuase bri and bill are like 500lbs .. and rich he just smells bad .. so we drove to newtown and got tickets to a "ahunted hay ride" .. but there was no hay and it wasnt even scary .. waht a waste of 12 bucks .. then we came home and just pretty much hung out ..

sun we had a game but lucky us NO ONE showed up and howard made us play short .. so yes we were running for 90 fucking mins .. and every 2 fucking secs someone was yelling at me becuase howard put me in places i never played before and i had no idea where i was supposed to be .. i hate tjose fucking girls with a passion .. i only like 3 of them and the rest i kinda just wanna jump and stone them to death .. is that bad? then i came home slept and watched football .. i stayied up to watch the balitmore game with bri but he fell asleep .. then in the 4th he woke up and was like "why ddi you flip" and rolled back over and fell asleep .. hes one funny kid ..

today i feel like crap .. but me and my mom went out to get my halloween custom .. im gonna be a dead cheerleader .. i know its gay but i couldnt think of anything else.. then came home and passed out ...

tomorrow back to school which blows major ass .. then wed is bowling night(can you believe i got 2 stikes last week!) .. then thrus we have a game .. people better show up .. firday neil said he would take me to see shark tails (YES) lol .. and yea thats pretty much my week ..

so ill talk to yas lata love yas bye

this broken heart will never mend so never shall i breathe again

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 01:58:49 GMT

have you ever seen that movie the little vampire .. and the little kid is all lonely and has no friends .. then a vampire comes along and befriends him? .. i wish that could happen in real life .. so that maybe i could actually have someone ..

i wish there was another way ...

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 02:28:14 GMT

ever have like one bad day after another? oh yea because thats pretty much what im going throu .. and its going from being pissed to crying like every fucking day

1st monday i got out early to get a root canial .. and apperently neil got mad becuase i didnt tell him when i didnt even know but whatever i really dont care anymore ..

then i was pretty much in pan for the rest of the day .. stayied home tues due to pain ..wed sucked horribly becuase neils all mad for no fucking reason .. and if you ask me i should be the one thats mad .. beucase dont you think if your gf left early and didnt tell you taht she was something would be wrong? oh but i guess not ..so yea i kinda been ingorning him..no worries he has no problesm talking to alicia or diane about it .. but wont say anything about it to me .. but whatever

anyway on wed i got pretty much barnbared with work from mr mac and have no clue whats going on anymore .. then today pretty much blew too .. for some reason my fucking bus driver cant get to school on time and i get there and 8:10 then i get yeleld at so yea.. fun times .. fucking whore.. then english fucking blows .. i swear im soo fucking stupid .. then came home slept, had a game but it was canceled due to fog but the score was like 5-2 we lost again .. and i majorly hurt my knee beucase some fuck nut fucking pushed me ..

tomorrows friday and i cant wait so that i can have a weekend to be alone.. i have a englsih paper to write and a chem prject to do .. but other then that ill prob sleep and prob cry the whole weekend ...

life fucking sucks ..