| losing hope is easy when your only friend is gone n when you look around it all just seems to change |
[14 Jul 2005|07:58pm] |
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honary title |
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hey ...
so talk about a month and 1/2 of ups and downs ..
went to georgia and had the BEST time ever .. got some get stuff hung out with jesseca and just had an altogether great time ..
come home and hang out here .. then jess and her mom and tom leaves and tom died .. dont think i could have ever been ready for that one .. its weird he was such a great guy and even though i seen him 2 weeks a year i still loved him you know? .. im gonna miss our jokes the most ..
so last couple weeks been kinda down but im getting better .. so thats good ..
slept over colls the other day and had tons of fun specailly when she got high off fresh air .. (that just shows you need to get out more) .. then came home seen war of the worlds again (great movie) lol .. and just hung out .. tomorrow me and coll are gonna go see charile and the chocolate factory .. then sat im going up the mts and going white water rafting with jenny .. fun stuff .. wehn i get home me alicia and nicole are gonna go look for some hot guys .. then me and kim are supposed to hang out and if tinA ever gets off from work me and her are gonna do something
also im prob gonna go back to georgia in ausust to help jess cope with toms death .. its gonna be bad but i wanna be there for her .. so if i can talk bri in to taking me ill be back in ga for a week or soo ...
and also i need to do my summer reading but its gay .. i dont wanna .. cant i just say i have senioritious now? and not have to do it? .. prob not ..
and again also .. if jess moves back to philly (which might happen..) ill be going to bensalem with her .. mabye make my senior year a good one (and i know i say this every year but this year if they do come back .. i really will leave even if its in the middle of the year lol)
<3 monica
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| i have no books no time no friends i must therefore be contented to live and die an ignorant fellow |
[19 Jun 2005|07:56pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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tear my world apart- Greeley Estates |
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hey ...
so after a week up downs and ups .. im back to my happy self .. this week life started out really bad but got soo much better .. and now im soo happy ....
but anyways .. this week is gonna be great .. hopefully kim will be able to hang out before wed .. then wed im gone .. wont be back for almost 2 weeks ..im soo excited .. gerogia is gonna be soo much fun ..
i think i want to get a job at acme .. the guys there are SUPER hot!! ...
<3 monica
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| now ive had the time of my life and i owe it all to you...<3 |
[31 May 2005|03:53pm] |
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hey!
life is soo great ... i dont think ive ever been this happy .. if i would have known that i would have been this happy i would have broken it off with him like last year .. you know what i actually stopped having feelings for him and he started to annoy me daily .. lol
but yea this weekend was soo fun .. i think i had a smile on my face the whole time .. i love my friends and family they made this weekend ...
so theres is officially 7 days left of hell(for me atlesst) i cant wait .. i hate school its soo annoying .. and i cant wait for this summer .. im going to georgia at the end of june .. YAY i cant wait to see jesseca i miss her oh so bad .. i should porb get a job this summer but im kinda lazy so i might just not and enjoy my last free summer
all i know is that this summer will be filled with great friends hot guys tons of inside jokes and a constant smile on my face .. (so much better than last summer!!)
well have a great day
<3 monica
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| this is where you and ME means nothing more than a crossed out heart carved into a tree in MY backya |
[23 May 2005|06:19pm] |
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fall out boy |
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hey! ... so life is great!! i swear i dont think ive ever been this happy ..
i started to talk to all my old friedns whom over the years i kinda ingored for the guy ... but its been great everyone is soo nice i forgot what its like to have good friends
ive also started to go out and i refuse to stay in my room any longer .. i wanna meet people .. but most of all i wanna live my life .. and im doing such a good job lol .. its just been great
the smile on my face seems almost permanent .. and its liek no matter how much shit he talks it kinda doesnt even faze me any more ..
this summer is gonna be great .. im making plans with EVERYONE .. and i plan on haveing mad fun lol ..
ok im gonna go .. have a great day love yas MOnica
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| heres some tips |
[10 May 2005|04:55pm] |
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well kids .. heres some tips on how to be an asshole:
1. tell your gf that you feel liek the stuff you are doing is getting old
2. call her and say a total of 3 words
3. ingore her at lunch only talking to her to ask if she loves or .. or to tickle her
4. ingore her all day ... even through she trying to make you laugh/smile or something
5. make her cry at lunch and not even acknoledge it even when you see it
6. take her back to your house and say nothing
7. break up with her ONLINE!
8. tell your not happy anymore with her
9. TELL HER YOU STILL WANNA BE FREIDNS!
so those are the 9 tips on how to be an asshole, hoped they help
ps. i hope to god no one treats anyone the way he treated me ....
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[10 May 2005|01:17pm] |
my tear stained cheecks are unnoticed ..
like the pieces of my broken heart on the floor
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| i feel like im facing everything by myself with nothing but tears and fake smiles |
[02 Apr 2005|07:03am] |
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nfg |
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hey ..
life pretty much still sucks .. this week has just been .. well bad
monday had off .. pretty much did nothing .. tuesday back to school .. wed school than NFG concert which was great .. reggie and the full effect was soo funny .. it was a good concert
thrus felt ill and pissed becuase my mom was yelling at me for no reaason .. then game which we won ..firday was soo ill in web design i couldnt get up becuase i was soo dizzy .. took ms segals test bearlly able to read because i was soo dizzy .. than deciced that i still should go to the game ebcuase alot of people were absent .. so i went took an hour to get there and all i did was sit on the bench .. so yea ive decided to quit the team because thats bullshit ..
than another thing wrong is i think neil is mad at me .. which he prob should be becuase ive been treating him like crap becuase in the past two days ive had a combined 9 hours of sleep .. and i feel like crap .. i feel bad becuase i was taking it out on him .. but i really didnt mean .. and i know i do it all the time .. but i love him more than anything .. and i know theres times i dont always show it .. but i do .. and i guess if your reading this neil im sorry ...
anyway ..
today i plan on sleeping .. i hope i can actually call neil and have him call back tonight so was can talk and maybe hang out tomorrow or something but i dont know .. other than that my weekened is gonna suck as always
next week we have to take the stupid pssa .. which i still think that we should be able to go home after .. or at least not have to do anywork .. but no our school is crap .. so yea
ok im off love ya lots bye
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[28 Mar 2005|07:11pm] |
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i think i wanna kill myself ....it would take away the pain of living ..
sometimes it feels like its not worth it
and i try and try but nothing turns out the way its supposed to
sometimes i wanna live in the movies
where the guys are perfect
and in the end its always turns out all right
"cry"
a life time apart and i dont know why
so many times i just wanted to die
id sit in my room knife in hand
hoping some day
id be in happy land
anger and hate
brought on me all at once
so many things happened
in the last few months
i try to hold back all my fears
but all im left with is tears
i try to hold back my anger
but i cant handle it
all my anger comes out
and i get in a big fit
i feel this pain inside
pain from which i can not hide
i wake up everyday with it
its like i keep getting hit
i run and try to hide
but the pain that comes from within
knows my stride
it follows me everywhere
and sometimes its too much to bare
i cant take anymore of this torture or pain
i feel like nothing i can accomplish or gain
the pain it grows everyday
filling my heart with hate and fears
as my eyes start to swell with tears
so i sit in my room
and watch my life go by
with my head in my hands
as i begin to cry
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| ive got a heart full of rubber bands that keep qetting caught on feelings |
[07 Mar 2005|01:54pm] |
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music |
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tear my world apart- Greeley Estates |
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so yea sorry its been awhile .. nothing much here
i just got back from soccer practice mr c is working us really hard .. but its good i guess ..
yea my life has offically hit an all time low .. like really i ahte just everyone and everything .. (cept for a few things) thats why i like practice because running helps me get rid of my anger in a way
my classes totally blow ass .. web degisn is getitng annoying .. i wanna shot ms worrell and ms press .. ms segals class is the only good class .. grad project i dont think ive done work in since like 3 weeks ago .. and imp is getting stupid .. god i cant wait til its over .. ive decided not to take the honors class next year becayse im not putting up with ms worrell shit any more shes such a bitch and i hate her
yea .. so last week was my un-birthday .. the party was really good .. but all last week sucked .. i got a detention for cheating on a vocab test .. fun stuff .. and all this other stuff went wrong ..
on friday i went to practice and neil came .. we went to the movies after and saw the pacifer .. it was cute i liked it .. then we came home and played sega .. was the best night of all last week ..
today i have to go to the mall and get something .. plus send my hot topic gift card (ick) .. then gonna come home .. neil will hopefully call .. and then watch wrestling .. then im gonna pass out and hopefully wont wake up ..
GOD I HATE SCHOOL RIGHT NOW!
and im gonna leave it at that .. love yas bye
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